The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare

This is one of those films with a difficult title to remember. Even the ticket taker at Regal stumbled over it as he confirmed our purchase.
 
            “Boy, that’s a mouthful,” he laughed.
 
We proceeded to sit through 25 minutes of the most violent previews we’ve ever seen. That was a hint of what was to come, despite perky Maria Menounos urging us not to eat our popcorn before the movie, since “I’ll be watching you!” We could have eaten dinner and dessert by the time the movie started.
 
This is a story based on true events, a secret mission known as Operation Postmaster, and that’s quite disturbing. The film is set in the darkest days of World War II when Hitler was on the brink of world domination. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill needed to give the United States hope that crossing an Atlantic infested with German U-boats was possible. Germany was a seemingly unbeatable foe. England desperately needed help from America.
 
Have you noticed how movie Germans are not only bloodthirsty, sadistic, and industrious, but are also so blinded by confidence and power that they are routinely duped? It’s a good thing since all was lost at several points in that horrific war, until the Nazis were outwitted and betrayed, in this case by an equally bloodthirsty band of psychopaths who saved the world.
 
Sort of a mashup of Inglourious Basterds and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, I felt this was reminiscent of The Dirty Dozen. That film brought together names like Borgnine, Savalas, Bronson, Marvin, and Cassavetes in an unlikely assemblage that worked. A cast full of tough guys during the 1960s.
 
In “The Ministry,” Director Guy Ritchie teamed Henry Cavill, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, and Elza Gonzalez as the A-Team of espionage and butchery, which is exactly what was needed when going after a Nazi stronghold. It was an utterly covert mission kept at arm’s length from Churchill. Ritchie’s films range from Aladdin to The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and 2021’s Wrath of Man. This one kept the tension high and the action virtually nonstop.
 
Cavill, with his cartoonishly powerful chin hidden by a beard, has played Superman and currently stars in Argyle. He leads Churchill’s team due to his ruthless nature and reputation for breaking all the rules. Alan Ritchson plays Anders Lassen, a muscular bow & arrow-wielding assassin who prefers knives and takes far too much pleasure in killing. His credits include Fast X and Reacher. Elza Gonzalez is currently on Netflix in 3 Body Problem and also has a history with the Fast franchise.
 
And guess who was part of Churchill’s team? Ian Fleming! What better classroom for character development in a subsequent career as the creator of James Bond?
 
In a way, this story has many elements that make Bond stories work. Impossible missions overcoming improbable odds, with a cast of heroes and villains that are devoid of conscience when in the duty of God and Country. Well, at least Country.
 
Ritchie makes effective use of close-ups and dampened audio to build tension during scenes in which Nazi bad guy Heinrich Luhr (fictional, played by Til Schweiger ) is seduced by Marjorie Stewart (a real person but portrayed as a Mata Hari type here.)
 
You’ll need to be able to stomach extreme warfare violence to sit through this film. Ritchie seems to relish shock value. Perhaps that’s how he stayed married to Madonna for eight years.
 
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024) runs 2 hours and is rated R.

The two books below belong to the "Park Ridge Memories" series which portrays life during the 1960s, 1970s, and beyond. Two collections of true stories take you from the Cuban Missile Crisis to The Summer of Love, Hot Dog Day to a trip down I-57 at 137mph, with lots of other stops in between. These books are about a place, but also a time, and lots of shared memories. Click on the image to find out more.

 

Wonka

The theater was surprisingly full for a Saturday matinee of this family-friendly film. That was a happy post-pandemic reality. And it wasn’t until a point about three-quarters of the way through its nearly two-hour length that we found ourselves thinking, “This movie is too long.” But they wrapped it up in short order and we considered it to be a thoroughly enjoyable, colorful romp through Willie Wonka’s origin story.

Forget much of what you may love about Gene Wilder in 1971’s Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, if you can. There are plenty of musical reminders from the classic original and one memorable Oompa-Loompa played by Hugh Grant. But the somewhat sinister Wonka character in Wilder’s hands is played here by a younger, more auspicious, and magical Timothee Chalamet. Still, they both have a similar devilish sparkle in their eyes and exude comparable confidence in the transformative powers of their chocolates.

 

Wonka begins with Willie’s arrival by ship in a whimsical city that seems like a Disney World Epcot hybrid of London and Paris (it’s a Warner Brothers film.) He almost immediately falls victim to a nefarious couple of scammers who trick him with voluminous “small print” on a contract to rent a room for the night. He then joins forces with a half dozen similarly duped victims in a laundry dungeon where they hopelessly try to work off their debts.

 

Local law enforcement is corrupted by an evil triumvirate of cartel-like chocolate bosses who control the availability of a huge liquid cocoa supply. Bribes to the chief of police are paid in boxes of candy by Prodnose, Slugworth, and Fickelgruber to prevent Wonka from selling his chocolate.

 

Wonka is thus forced into a chocolate war on two fronts, using magic and secret recipes to create diversionary confections. If that’s not enough, a “little orange man with green hair” has been stealing his candy every night. Enter Hugh Grant as an eighteen-inch-tall nemesis who Wonka’s new friend Noodle (Calah Lane) doesn’t believe is real.

 

So, a lot is going on at all times, with frequent breaks for cute songs and choreography. As with most heroes, setbacks are temporary, and just when all hope is lost, someone or something saves the day.

 

Wonka is a box full of fun, a happy escape for a couple of hours, and a visual delight for kids and adults alike. I found one Oompa-Loompa to be quite enough, and I didn’t need the lure of a golden ticket to string me along. “Blasphemy,” I’m sure Gene Wilder fans would say, but really, fifty years for a prequel seems long enough to wait. I found myself craving chocolate soon after the film began.

 

 

Wonka (2023) runs 1 hour, 56 minutes and is rated PG.

If you like fiction and you're in the mood for over 50 short stories, please consider buying "Natural Selections," at Amazon.com.

Or if you'd prefer seventy non-fiction stories, please consider buying Park Ridge Memories also on Amazon. Click on the image below.